Heroes

I remember her,

She was obtrusive and demanding

Sassy and outstanding.

She said “come here,

Closer…

Closer…”

And as I came 90 she came 10.

And she did over again.

Until I was finally comfortable.

With my body,

In my skin.

When she told me about her dad,

I didn’t understand.

Why look at women on a screen?

Like his daughter just 14

He has a wife.

It just wasn’t right.

It didn’t make sense,

But all the same,

I abhorred him for it.

It hurt her,

Deep down inside.

To know her mom would never be enough.

Never sufficient.

Somehow I think it fell to her that instant.

She knew she would never be enough

For him at least,

So she learned to play it tough.

Make sure her confidence showed.

So no-one would question or know.

…

She said she was sorry.

She didn’t mean to.

But she had wanted to.

Because when he went 90 she came 10.

Said it wouldn’t happen again.

Again, I didn’t understand.

Why would she need another?

What is it about a single lover?

…

Five years later,

I closed my browser,

And I cried,

And I cried.

And I shook,

I couldn’t even look,

At her.

Beautiful her.

Betrayal

Despicable

Evil

Nasty

Devil.

My flooded mind lashed.

And again, I didn’t understand.

I thought I would grow up to be a better man.

I thought I would take a stand.

 And now I never can!

I was falling in sinking sand

And all I wanted was solid land,

Instinct give in to my mind’s demand.

…

I guess there are no better men.

We all give in to something in the end.

But I don’t believe those words.

Maybe they are true,

But they hurt.

And I refuse.

Sometimes we believe in what’s worth believing in.

Because sometimes they deserve more than the truth,

Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.

Because someday, we all start to understand…

those things we never wanted to.

We realize the Dark Knight was true.

We watch ourselves become the villains,

We look out across the billions

There has to be a hero.

Who can rise above what makes us fall

Who can answer the good call.

Why cling to a man with a cape?

Why look up to professor Snape?

To a man in blue and red tights

Who Always does what’s right

And wins every fight?

Because he never closed a browser and cried.

He has only one reason to hide,

For the noble cause he cares for inside.

He doesn’t have to strive

Always toward what the world deserves but never gets,

What she deserves but will never get.

…

Loved ones will always deserve more than we can give.

But I don’t believe those words.

Because sometimes I believe in what’s worth believing in.

I will always strive, and dive, and cry, and try every second, towards perfection,

--And fail.

But its those last words I must not believe.