Reinforcements

Bright lights

Booming bursts

A tingle in our legs

 from a good hurt.

Screams and Laughter

Hour after hour

No cares in the world,

At least not in our holiday tower.

I wake up wrenching,

Gasping, clawing.

The last choke of smoke

Enters my throat

And when my lungs contract

They’re shot back

My body under attack

Slam to the floor,

Eyes glazed and fogging,

Flailing wildly, noiselessly, voicelessly.

Groping my way every inch.

Every extended second

Feeling like my last.

But as I give in I don’t see my past, in a flash—no.

Time slows down,

I begin to drown, into nothing

Into darkness.

Losing all sensation,

Just as my only salvation

Lays two feet from my outstretched hand.

I’d lost.

Finally lost the battle against my body.

…

But the WAR was NOT over.

Because we’d been raised together in Dover!

Reinforcements were sent swift,

Only to lengthen my given gift.

As my eyes clear out the dark

And welcome in the light

I know who me reinforcement was that night.

God’s hands had moved and he had followed.

And for that I was not undone.

I asked weakly as my head still spun,

“What happened?”

…

“Thank You Brandon.”

A Part of the Power

Something powerful.

It really is.

The vibration.

The pulsing force.

And it consumes you.

It becomes you entire world.

Swirling around you in harmony with itself.

Making sense of all your fears.

All your doubts.

All you’ve thought life was about.

Loud and strong it shakes and quakes

Your body will unbreak!

It’s something powerful!

Something words will never say,

When you scream and your voice is only one in a million.

But you contribute.

You are a part.

A part of the power. 

Perhaps

If not God what else would there be?

A vast expanse of space?

A start without a starter?

An end without an ender?

Nothing and no one greater than beings who lie and kill and abuse?

A world full of rules that wrote themselves?

Or perhaps an author?

Perhaps someone to guide?

Perhaps something greater than our pride?

Perhaps an energy that pulls and pushes and loves and helps and joins and starts and ends.

Perhaps.

On Eagles' Wings

Tell her she’s beautiful.

Don’t ever let her forget it.

Tell him he’s valuable.

Help him understand it.

Show them their worth.

Never the opposite.

Lift them up on eagles’ wings.

Embellish in them confidence.

For when he brags, he’s lost it.

When she insults, it’s she who hurts.

Take them down to size?

They’re already so small.

It’s why he tries to look tall.

It’s why she laughs at them all.

Tell her she’s beautiful.

Tell him he’s valuable.

Insecurity is the enemy.

Not it’s abductee.

Give them assurance and sanctuary.

Love their being.

Let them ride on Eagles’ wings.

Soul Sailing

Soul searching is hard

Because I don’t know where to look.

The good thing is there

But it’s gone.

The right thing is right there

But wrong.

All I know is I needed that song.

The harmony chords,

To melt my heart swords into kind words.

But how’m I to know,

When to let things go,

Or accept the responsibility,

Forgo my wanted tranquility.

For my future’s assurance.

What we’ll do for steady hand on tomorrow.

We’ll take a seizure today.

We run and hide.

And then we die and tomorrow never arrived.

And we want tomorrow to give back its steady hand.

Because then we see reality.

Soul searching is hard

because I don’t know where to look.

Because reality combats conformity.

But conformity has a side-kick: prosperity.

And a sponsor: responsibility.

And sometimes it shape-shifts,

So conformity is reality,

Or they aren't so different.

It whispers in my ear.

It tries to pull me near.

And I like to know it all,

So I listen.

And what I hear,

Makes sense in that instance.

Soul searching is hard,

Because I don’t know where to look.

I think I’ll find it in a book.

But it’s not mine.

They say tough decisions have answers,

But do they?

Or will deciding drive you crazy?

I’m in the ocean screaming MAYDAY!

A few voices tell me which way.

But I stay.

Because both paths are stormed with waves.

And I won’t float down-current and waste my sail,

And I won’t sail up-current just to fail.

I’m tormented in the middle as I soul-sail.

The Choice

A ball floats gently in a vast space.

The creator cradles it in his hands,

Looks at its many blemishes of darkness,

With sadness painted on his face.

But right beside each blemish,

Is a brilliant light,

Shining bright white,

Up into the creator’s eye.

As the ball spins,

A bright light fades…to darkness.

But then a blemish…darkness for light it trades.

The creator goes down to the ball,

To stand among his creation.

Among love and among desperation,

Among peace and pain,

Pride and shame,

Good and I'll,

Yes all of the master’s will.

For without dark there is no light,

Just as without weakness,

We would not know might.

Just as the Creator never had to suffer and cry,

Watching darkness rise and his creation die.

But he chose to create life.

Chose to give the ball’s inhabitants a choice.

Freedom to follow his word and his voice,

Or to do what brings them pleasure but not what brings joy.

Now he’s always there,

Offering his hand.

He loves and He cares.

He has every answer,

And he’s willing to share,

With only people who ask and search.

And in them he delights,

And can do new works.

He makes different realities and different lives,

But he separates no one,

And draws no dividing lines.

Some created lives and join him above, as they leave below.

Those that loved and searched and found and now know.

That ball still spins round,

Dark battles light without a sound.

Every smile is a spark,

And every embrace brightening up the dark. 

What's Mine

Crumbling down

Without a sound

Falling sideways

Ripping through walls

Bursting through doors

Breaking down barriers

Screaming through tears.

Sprinting past time

Splintering through space

Rage on my face.

It slows

He knows.

I’m held

Lifted Up.

Set back down.

Rage starts to drown.

Floating underwater.

Breathing in what’s sought after.

And breathing it out.

Body weightless…lifeless.

Puppet strings draw me up,

Into the air.

Sparkling stars float there.

They drain from my heart,

Drain upstream.

I final try, a final scream.

Grasping back, my heart attacks.

Chest jots

Mind bolts

Just one more time.

Defeated and carried,

Fingernails grind the dirt.

Engines start.

Their eyes find me,

Shake me,

Change me,

Crush me.

Then from the other side,

They fly!

Chant to remind.

Come back to our kind!

But how this side has shined!

They circle me now,

Again teach me how.

How to move where I must,

Admit the old trust.

You’ll never know!

I just can’t go!

Wretched fingered reach,

Metal burning on my feet,

Screeching.

Still faces overhead.

Bodies, life shed.

Holes punched inside.

I collapse,

I finally cry.

I guess I knew.

And I flew.

Ragged and wrong.

My face shoved down strong.

To the black particles and yellow lines.

Watched the last light shine.

Maybe not someday,

But right now it’s what’s mine.