The Choice

A ball floats gently in a vast space.

The creator cradles it in his hands,

Looks at its many blemishes of darkness,

With sadness painted on his face.

But right beside each blemish,

Is a brilliant light,

Shining bright white,

Up into the creator’s eye.

As the ball spins,

A bright light fades…to darkness.

But then a blemish…darkness for light it trades.

The creator goes down to the ball,

To stand among his creation.

Among love and among desperation,

Among peace and pain,

Pride and shame,

Good and I'll,

Yes all of the master’s will.

For without dark there is no light,

Just as without weakness,

We would not know might.

Just as the Creator never had to suffer and cry,

Watching darkness rise and his creation die.

But he chose to create life.

Chose to give the ball’s inhabitants a choice.

Freedom to follow his word and his voice,

Or to do what brings them pleasure but not what brings joy.

Now he’s always there,

Offering his hand.

He loves and He cares.

He has every answer,

And he’s willing to share,

With only people who ask and search.

And in them he delights,

And can do new works.

He makes different realities and different lives,

But he separates no one,

And draws no dividing lines.

Some created lives and join him above, as they leave below.

Those that loved and searched and found and now know.

That ball still spins round,

Dark battles light without a sound.

Every smile is a spark,

And every embrace brightening up the dark. 

What's Mine

Crumbling down

Without a sound

Falling sideways

Ripping through walls

Bursting through doors

Breaking down barriers

Screaming through tears.

Sprinting past time

Splintering through space

Rage on my face.

It slows

He knows.

I’m held

Lifted Up.

Set back down.

Rage starts to drown.

Floating underwater.

Breathing in what’s sought after.

And breathing it out.

Body weightless…lifeless.

Puppet strings draw me up,

Into the air.

Sparkling stars float there.

They drain from my heart,

Drain upstream.

I final try, a final scream.

Grasping back, my heart attacks.

Chest jots

Mind bolts

Just one more time.

Defeated and carried,

Fingernails grind the dirt.

Engines start.

Their eyes find me,

Shake me,

Change me,

Crush me.

Then from the other side,

They fly!

Chant to remind.

Come back to our kind!

But how this side has shined!

They circle me now,

Again teach me how.

How to move where I must,

Admit the old trust.

You’ll never know!

I just can’t go!

Wretched fingered reach,

Metal burning on my feet,

Screeching.

Still faces overhead.

Bodies, life shed.

Holes punched inside.

I collapse,

I finally cry.

I guess I knew.

And I flew.

Ragged and wrong.

My face shoved down strong.

To the black particles and yellow lines.

Watched the last light shine.

Maybe not someday,

But right now it’s what’s mine.

Fairytale

If things were simple,

Like what I see,

Every night, as I Dream.

If love had one answer

If we had curable cancer,

If she was strong and walked away,

To come back and then be here to stay.

If it were really cut and dry,

If there were one right way to drive.

If she were the only strange one in the room

If she always shined while the others loomed.

If loving true were the only love.

If I knew what was happening there above.

If my body had no say,

If I could look away.

If big talks never happened, and never needed to.

After saving a life I would always trust you.

If fighting were brave.

If thoughts were pure.

If we both had problems,

But had each others’ cure.

If friendship were there,

 And that was enough.

If kissing were too far,

Until the sequel, just a bluff.

If families were quirky instead of broken,

And siblings crazy,

Not estranged.

Feeling caged,

Being aged,

By left over problems from temporary solutions.

If hearts always cared,

Always stood by the scared.

If that were what it took,

To make my life like a book,

To finally make her look.

To know the reason

To find the way

To see the answer

To save the day.

To win the hearts

To stay true

To feel invincible

And only think of you.

If every problem had one answer,

And every man, a woman true.

Every life, a climax painted,

With the past re-forged anew.

Yes, if these dreams were somehow real,

We’d know exactly what to do.

Heart-Split

They leave me

As I step upon the plane.

It’s over,

And I won’t be back again, for a while.

It doesn't feel right,

And it doesn't feel fair.

That we loved enough,

To know our hearts we shared.

It hurts inside every time,

I think about the way

I spend every day

Throwing cares away

Acting like I’m here to stay.

I ache right now

Because all I think about, are those faces

Faces of people who share unforgettable memories…with me

Pushing you on a swing

Having fun translating

Teaching you how to read,

Feeling loved, and whole, and free.

Every moment magical

Every smile unforgettable,

Every interruption understandable,

Every tear-filled cry, unbearable.

Here is the moment

My heart splits in two.

Half with me,

And half right here with you.

I promise one day I’ll make it back,

To beautiful Peru.

I’ll lift you on my shoulders once again

Hear you call my name and it begins.

I’ll try to find some silence, but you’ll be there.

And I’ll give in and grab you because we both know I don’t care.

You’ll look up at me,

And I’ll look down at you,

And this time I’ll be the first

To whisper, Te Quiero.

The Mix

There’s no grandeur

Like striding up cement grades,

Of a humble house humbly laid.

Onto the open roof,

And the shining sun.

Wind blowing easy,

Hard day’s work done.

There’s nothing like the double rainbow,

As a black cloud comes,

A crack of thunder and a lightning show.

It mixes with a blinding white light,

Shooting strong against the dark,

Both beautiful and terrible to sight.

There’s no peace like sitting and glowering in the traveling light.

The feel of cool rain coming in delight.

Sheltered from its drops by a small tin roof’s might.

Listening to the exponential growth

Of small clangs and slow trickles.

Now forming puddles and streams,

Nature mixing, becoming, my dreams.

The leftover heat forging light tufts of steam.

There’s nothing more grounding

Than living there in that moment,

Knowing and needed nothing more,

Than the free breezing current.

Feeling small in the mountain’s shadow,

But being filled by the warm light’s glow.

Knowing freedom in the stray droplet’s embrace,

Letting go of fear as it rolls down my face.

Sensing pure simplicity in its taste.

Thoughts moving from synapse to synapse,

As slowly as the tear from my eye to my chin,

And mixes with that drop that I’ve kissed.

As nature and I begin to mix,

And separation ceases to exist.

Love is Mad

Love…is a crazy thing.

When life seems normal,

Free, and unconstrained,

Two pairs of eyes meet,

 Or two elbows bump,

And everything can change.

Forward 5 years

Those pairs of eyes stare together,

At strangely white walls,

A rolled-up wedding-gift rug,

And a beautiful baby boy who only know how to crawl.

A glance in her direction shows sparkling wet eyes.

She says she’s always hated goodbyes.

“Don’t give up,” he whispers delicately in her ear.

Picking up her cooing new source of hope,

“I won’t give up on us,” she replies, their time coming near.

He gives a gentleman’s bow, her a curtsy,

The waltz slowly and intimately

Through the kitchen (which is also the bedroom).

For an instant, it’s a marvelous ballroom.

They weave through boxes of old clothes

Left over furniture,

Their minds worlds away

From his latest job’s recent foreclosure.

Suddenly their thoughts snap off

And their thoughts back to reality.

Their lips meet softly,

And soon their tears follow.

Across the street,

A grandfather whistles joyfully,

Opening the car door for his wife.

As he pops in the other side,

He kisses her forehead,

A wrinkled mantle above face with lines of strife.

She doesn’t know what hope is,

“Hope is for those young-in kids.

I’m just trying to get by—heck!

You’re lucky I just don’t up and die.

There’s no point for me now,

So tell me why!

No. I don’t need you to cry.

Just park the car over there…

No, the other side!”

She’s living but barely alive.

It’s too much

Too much for her to try.

So the walk carefully inside.

The Doctor says she’s recovering quite well.

“Few more months you won’t able to tell.”

“Thanks to the merciful Lord!” he exclaims.

“Come on, let’s go,” She stutters as her hand reaches for her cane.

Down the hall,

A young woman sprints wildly toward an open door.

Bursts into the room and sees blood on the floor.

He assures her, “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

He talks but his weak voice struggles with every line.

The nurses take her aside, “He doesn't have much time.”

Falling to her knees,

Her mind races with the good times.

When he was on his knees,

And as he finished his speech,

He said, “Ember please, Will you marry me?

Because I don’t just want you now,

I want you forever and always,

Every morning for the rest of my life.

When I wake up and open my eyes,

It’s just your beautiful face I want to see by my side.”

Only two years later,

Her stomach is a little bigger.

He always wanted to be a father.

Now a river runs from her eyes,

But it started in her heart.

She sits by his bedside,

Holds his hand tight.

They talk about their kids,

And the house they’ll have in their long life

Together

Forever.

For a moment, it’s quiet.

And he breaks the silence,

“I’d grow old with you,

Always be your best friend.

Love you more each and every day,

Be right with you till the end.”

“I…know,” she barely can say.

“It’s…it’s going to be okay.”

He screams and sobs build and break.

Because his voice is getting too low,

And the beeps are getting too slow…

In a diner town the street,

A beautiful 21-year-old girl walks in with cold feet.

She’d been let down before,

So many times her heart had torn.

And what for?

“For a man who controls me,

Limits me,

Thinks he owns me,

And doesn't understand me?

And if it works out now, we’ll just end up old and unhappy.

--Love just hurts,

And leaves us so broken and insecure,

We keep going back for more.”

She turned to walk out.

She had seen enough broken relationships,

broken marriages, and broken hearts for a lifetime.

No sane person would walk back into pain,

Ignore the warning signs.

But then she caught his eyes.

As nervous and as scared as hers.

She knew there was bound to be a terrible end.

But as she walked back toward the empty seat,

She took each step to let love begin again.